What a night

I walked home dry eyed, despite trying to force tears. I had no right and every right. I was in turmoil, and I still am. I yearn yet I am repulsed, I cannot live without him and he is the worst man I have ever met. I am not angry, but I am hurt and broken inside, still, from all of it.

"What is your boyfriend's name" - I think, what boyfriend? You mean the sexy man that I am trying to get into bed? Wait a minute... that is my boyfriend.

And I should watch my mouth, but if I have to watch it them how can things be right?

And now I cannot leave a message when only words will do, I am sick of talking in circles but I can't let him leave like this. He walks away with nothing and everything. I don't know if things are busy or if I have been forcibly shut out.

And this is getting to be too much, too little, too late for any salvation. I need him. Worst of all, I love him.