Gotta get it done... gotta finish...
Gnnnnnnaaaaa. This has surely been one of the most unproductive and frustrating days of my life. Starting last night, when my decision not to get too drunk or to stay out too late became standing in the doorway of my apartment at 9:30 to pick up money and cigarettes with some coworkers, followed by a traipse down the road to Bifteck where we continued the party. It was a good time, and I'm glad I went.
Of course, not to be outdone, Roomie and Apartment Boy had to be there, with Friend, who I'm sure has heard everything. We couldn't even escape by going upstairs, because they followed. It was good to see him. After we kind of talked things through last week, its no longer awkward (well, no more so than I expect three weeks post-break-up), although he did call me a poser at one point, prompting me to drop my cigarette on the floor, and he still seems quite hung up on my friends 'hating' him. I explained how ludicrous that was, since they are not really friends, they are coworkers, and although I spend time with them at work, they do not know the intricacies of my life.
I tried to explain to J this morning how it feels to talk to him. There is still something there, so we are still friendly, clicking personality-wise and all, but both know that it won't work anymore because he decided he didn't want it to. So we are two people who get along and are attracted to each other, catching ourselves falling into a too-friendly situation, and extricating ourselves only to return there half an hour later. I would look up to catch him looking at me, he'd stick his tongue out and I'd make my mock indignant face... he would take a shot and catch me looking at him, and we'd smile. Its weird, its tough, and it got to a point where I had to leave before I jumped him.
Speaking of jump too, I had two male coworkers putting on some type of move... one of whom makes my skin crawl mildly and the other whom I adore, but not in that way. It came to a head when I was playing pool with the latter, waiting for him to shoot while gazing across the bar at Roomie (but trying to look like I was watching my partner shoot). Coworker one puts his arm around me and starts rubbing my neck. This is not cool. I tense up. He is all 'how are you doing?' with me, knowing the sitch, and I am all 'get that hand off me'. So my pool partner shows up, sees my face, sees what is going on, and forcibly throws his arm over my free shoulder and pulls me towards him, murmuring something about his future wife (an inside-running-joke thing). Whew. Close. I was later called 'stunning', which was surprising because I felt like ass on a stick. Call the little red wagon, I need to be taken home.
After slowly but surely walking my way home, I curled up around a cheese pizza and willed myself to stay awake long enough to sober up. Somewhat unsuccessfully. I should have gone out tonight to the party J was pushing, but alas, I am here, unproductive and writing in my blog. I told myself I'd get through the last 3 chapters of this book, otherwise I couldn't leave the house tomorrow, and that would make me sad. Back to the book!
Of course, not to be outdone, Roomie and Apartment Boy had to be there, with Friend, who I'm sure has heard everything. We couldn't even escape by going upstairs, because they followed. It was good to see him. After we kind of talked things through last week, its no longer awkward (well, no more so than I expect three weeks post-break-up), although he did call me a poser at one point, prompting me to drop my cigarette on the floor, and he still seems quite hung up on my friends 'hating' him. I explained how ludicrous that was, since they are not really friends, they are coworkers, and although I spend time with them at work, they do not know the intricacies of my life.
I tried to explain to J this morning how it feels to talk to him. There is still something there, so we are still friendly, clicking personality-wise and all, but both know that it won't work anymore because he decided he didn't want it to. So we are two people who get along and are attracted to each other, catching ourselves falling into a too-friendly situation, and extricating ourselves only to return there half an hour later. I would look up to catch him looking at me, he'd stick his tongue out and I'd make my mock indignant face... he would take a shot and catch me looking at him, and we'd smile. Its weird, its tough, and it got to a point where I had to leave before I jumped him.
Speaking of jump too, I had two male coworkers putting on some type of move... one of whom makes my skin crawl mildly and the other whom I adore, but not in that way. It came to a head when I was playing pool with the latter, waiting for him to shoot while gazing across the bar at Roomie (but trying to look like I was watching my partner shoot). Coworker one puts his arm around me and starts rubbing my neck. This is not cool. I tense up. He is all 'how are you doing?' with me, knowing the sitch, and I am all 'get that hand off me'. So my pool partner shows up, sees my face, sees what is going on, and forcibly throws his arm over my free shoulder and pulls me towards him, murmuring something about his future wife (an inside-running-joke thing). Whew. Close. I was later called 'stunning', which was surprising because I felt like ass on a stick. Call the little red wagon, I need to be taken home.
After slowly but surely walking my way home, I curled up around a cheese pizza and willed myself to stay awake long enough to sober up. Somewhat unsuccessfully. I should have gone out tonight to the party J was pushing, but alas, I am here, unproductive and writing in my blog. I told myself I'd get through the last 3 chapters of this book, otherwise I couldn't leave the house tomorrow, and that would make me sad. Back to the book!
posted by Care @ 4:13 a.m.
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