My break

Its been a while, a few days feels like much longer, and I intended to post a few times this weekend and never got around to it. Can't really pinpoint why, since most of my time has been spent on trivial pursuits.

The weather has been incredible, and I spent hours walking around. Nostalgia has hit me particularly hard and so I've been walking a fine line between waxing poetic about life and curling up in a little ball whispering "this is not happening". Its not that bad, I'm taking a smidge of artistic license here. But every time I realize how quickly the days are passing, I can't help but think, "I'm not ready".

But there's nothing here, nothing new, life just keeps rolling along as it has for the past few months, even the past few years. Curly and I discovered a new bar last night, and I sat there wondering what I would do without him, and all of the people that I have come to depend upon for so much. Visiting Krista in rez, I wondered what would happen when she wasn't there anymore, up the hill, whenever I felt like pestering her. And all of a sudden, just when everything is settled, I have to jump up and leave it.

He pointed out that maybe it is better that I'm leaving on a high note, that it is better to disappear when everything is positive in my memory. True enough, but I don't feel done here quite yet. Hopefully, come May, I will.