Last night

Last night I couldn't sleep, I lay awake until two in the morning. Not really thinking about anything, just awake. Feeling. I was, for the first time, afraid. I had been waiting, I guess, for it all to set in.

T-Minus two weeks. Two weeks today in fact. And here I am, totally unprepared. Also feeling the speed of time. How short a year is, how fast life is catching up with me. On that note, its almost my birthday, and that in and of itself is scary. It makes this all a little more real. It also has a lot to live up to, given the madness of my last birthday. But this is neither here nor there. I can't stop all of this from racing around in my mind. Really, it's getting quite ridiculous.

And so I think about it and think some more, the fear sets in and I feel so silly. Life rolls onwards downhill. And now I'm tired and feel that this Tuesday is maybe the end of something. Now when I cross the bridges I feel like it might be the last time, and as I said, somehow tongue in cheek, that this could be the last time I lived here, I couldn't help but feel lost. What if I never come home?