One has to wonder at how little changes. My time, my days, and here I am waiting as usual. I remarked to Anj how Montreal wasn't a place, but an intersection between space and time that was unique to us. She laughed. I don't know how I feel, whenever I stop I feel disoriented and vaguely upset. Like this whole city has become surreal, the once tangible intersection between our spaces and times slowly coming apart at the seams. One day then, who knows when, it will disappear completely. Montreal will be gone. And I wondered then if I would ever come back here, as she said that nobody she knew would ever live here again. Helen couldn't fathom leaving town for school, and then just going back after four years, and really she is right. As much as I am glad I came, it did nothing but throw me into this strange nomadic life where nowhere is home and I can't seem to feel quite right. It is easy to leave, the hard part is returning to what you once had, knowing it will never be the same again, because you outgrew it, but that your new home can never be regained once the people that made it home move on. Ignorance is bliss, so too is staying safe at home and never finding out how much better that change could be. Now? Now to top it? Now to never feel that way again? Who knows. I ramble, as usual, to stop myself from thinking.